(Amy and Alisha hiking at Dzalanyama Forest Reserve)

September 11th is an extremely symbolic day…seven years ago my dear friend, Berry, was taken from us when her plane crashed into the World Trade Center. For years, I struggled with the anniversary of her death – how could such a beautiful life be taken from this world so prematurely in an act that seemed so senseless?

(Dzalanyama Forest Reserve)

But last year on this very day, Andy’s long awaited passport finally arrived. Five months of separation and anticipation paid off – we were finally on a path towards a life together in Africa.

(Waterfall at Dzalanyama)

How fabulous to think that September 11th no longer had to be a day of mourning, but one of hope and happiness. My dreams were about to become a reality – to be reunited with the man I loved. Granted, I had no idea that my dreams would be so short-lived.

Like Berry’s untimely death, our marriage ended prematurely, long before our relationship was able to flourish or to realize its full potential. I am having a difficult time grasping where things went so terribly wrong…to the point where our love has turned to hate (at least, that’s what I gather from Andy’s behavior).

And again, this day continues to be symbolic – as the day we file for divorce.

(Camping)

And despite the anger, the frustration, the confusion and the sorrow, I still want what’s best for him…but am sad to know that I am not included in that vision.

I do think every relationship serves a purpose – and with Andy I learned to love openly and freely with all my heart…and with as much pain as I have endured, for that I am grateful…

I hope one day we will be friends. It’s hard enough to lose my husband, but I wasn’t anticipating losing my best friend in the process.